For those of you who have to endure having Charter Communications as your cable television provider, two words: my condolences.

Today has to rank up there as one of the happiest in my life.

Today I got to tell Charter to take this box and shove it. (Actually it was two cable boxes and two remotes.)

As someone who relies heavily on consistent and efficient high-speed internet access (I already dumped Charter on that front in December) and as a devoted fan of football in high definition — last weekend was just yet another example of how horrible Charter service is. One that once again involved no cable feed and lying Charter employees.

But today I finally got to tell them to get lost.

Yes, because of the abundance of trees in my neighborhood, (or actually the ones in my neighbor’s yard across the street) it was touch and go as to whether I could even make the switch to satellite or not. And after five hours of trying three different positions on the side of the house, it was still “no go” late yesterday.

But then, one of the sweating installers came in and we had a serious talk.

Either I put the dish on a pole in the front yard — or I wasn’t getting DISH.



Or DIRECT or anything.

Except the evil Charter.

Do I care if the neighbors think I’m trailer trash?

No.

Actually as the installer noted, a couple of strategically placed azaleas would do a good job of camouflage. Or a camellia bush. Just not too big.

At that point, I really didn’t care if he had said we had to put it on the mailbox on a 20-foot pole.

“Go ahead,” I said.

Three hours later, I was shocked to find out Ina Garten has freckles. I tell you what. If you haven’t seen European whole grain bread sliced in high definition on FoodNetworkHD, you’ve not lived.

But even better, I got to call Charter today and tell them “no mas.”

I would give you a list of their various transgressions, but it would take half the day to compile and we all have better things to do.

There. Thanks. I feel even better now.